FLEETING THOUGHTS THAT HAVE LONG BEEN UNPENNED

The Cure is one of those bands that touch your heart instantly. It is a strange band, in the sense that they give you this intense storm of emotions all at one go. Their poetic songs breathe a lot of melancholy, I feel sad, pain, joy, nostalgia, reminiscence. But the sadness and the pain attached to their songs isn't something dark or depressing, its rather bittersweet or beautiful. Its hard to put it into words because us as humans we tend to cling onto black and white definitions of everything. How can something be painful and beautiful at the same?! But trust me it can be. If it wasn't, words in the English lexicon like nostalgia, melancholy wouldn't take birth. Sadness, grief can be beautiful. You learn from them as well. And The Cure helps you in feeling them. I believe this band has to be one of the best alternative music bands who've graced this earth by their work. Songs like 'The Last Day of Summer', 'Pictures of you', 'Friday I'm in lov...

Today I feel lost again, I feel incompetent, unconfident, and just terrible. This immense wave of melancholia, worthlessness, happiness, grief and sorrow engulfs me as I write this. I wish life was easier, but maybe that would too have been morose somehow. I feel cornered with emotions, I am so tired, I can't even get up. Let alone muster the courage of getting up. I miss my childhood, those were such beautiful days without having the burden to carry your wishes and ride life's tumultuous waves. Grief only meant not being able to play cricket, happiness meant able to play. It was simpler times with truth and honesty at heart. But now, everything seems dystopian, from the meaning of life, to the its purpose, my own beliefs, character and maybe everything. I don't even know what I want, what else would not make me feel this way. I'm tired of swallowing my emotions, my grief in return for not hurting people. And when I do express my emotions I feel even worse, ...